The Word G-d Dares To Utter

Are personal events in the world rooted in a G-d source, a G-d machination? Or are our attempts at teleology merely post facto forays into guessing/explaining G-d's motives? These are the questions that LARabbi ™ raised in this Shabbat's Torah portion, Vayelekh. I no longer recall the verse, or, perhaps it was the commentary to which he was referring. It was a fabulous question, nevertheless, given the Days of Awe that we are living at this time. Especially in consideration of the accounting to which we hold G-d, as well as ourselves.

And what about that description, "Days of Awe"? Okay, these days are solemn and scary, if you take such things to heart. These are the days for teshuvah (repentance), tefillah (prayer), tzedakah (charity), to mitigate G-d's judgment of our lives and His original decree. Add the hair-raising alarm of the shofar, and then, fear "concentrates the mind wonderfully".

During the Days of Awe (or any other day in the Jewish calendar), perhaps there is more wonder than we ever imagined. And perhaps, most of us never imagined that there is wonder, but that is surely true for me. All of Judaism is a great wondering. And that wondering especially stands in stark relief, graceful and true, at this time of year. This is the time of year to wonder about G-d's presence, and why He hides, it seems, when we most need Him in our lives.

During the discussion of the parsha, questions of life and death and suffering were not answered. However, someone did submit this analogy: During Passover, children search for the Afikoman (nominally, the dessert matzah, ), in a game of hide and seek. The Afikoman cannot be hidden too cleverly or obscurely. It is hidden, yes, but not out of reach of discovery, or else it would be too discouraging. And so it is with G-d, it was said. G-d may hide Himself, but always in such a way that He can be found.

This led me to the thought that, G-d's hiding becomes less so during these days leading up to Yom Kippur. It's there, in the Torah, plain as the nose on your face, that G-d has instituted these Yomim Noraim for us to connect with Him. He is hiding in plain sight. Regardless of other questions about why bad things happen to good people, this time of year is a guarantee that He is not hidden, and that the connection is direct, without a whole lot of static. Though He may play hide-and-seek with us the rest of the year, at this time, He is revealing Himself and saying, clearly and immediately, "Hineni", Here I Am.